August 13 2024 Time Away
Needless to say, I've been away for a while. I decided to take some time to get refocused and reenergized. That entailed me taking a time out to the extent that I could, too just try to take better care of myself so that I can be there for my family. It wasn't easy, as a matter of fact I challenged myself to just push myself out of my comfort zone (almost) every day. That was more from a physical and mental standpoint. Being more intentional about getting more exercise and pushing myself to embrace more pain and discomfort and not retreat when I got into that pain and discomfort. Yes, I did push myself too far sometimes. I started slow jogging which I haven't done (jog or run) for years. I'm fairly large so that put some stress on my knees and ligaments that I've had to pay attention to (ice ice baby!) But it feels good to go beyond what for years I've accepted as to my limitations.
I've also discovered that changing mindset and learned patterns over many years is more difficult for me than I anticipated. Historically I've been the fixer - if there's a problem, fix it or remove it. Not so easy with patterns developed over decades. Still a work in progress, but like the physical side of things, I get to chip away at it a little bit each day. My "need" for immediate gratification (to my detriment I've never really been one for deferred gratification), is in opposition to what it takes to make small changes over time. Physical, mental, spiritual, financial - each one of those buckets requires continuous effort to make improvement. I'm tryin' boss, I'm tryin'...
March 11 2024 All About the Sleep
Elusive, fitful, non-existent, restless, horrible, never enough - just a few adjectives to describe many peoples' sleep experience, or lack thereof.
I fall squarely in the camp of never enough. At least it feels like never enough. I typically wake in the middle of the night and then have a hard time getting back to sleep, at least for an hour+. I have no problem falling asleep, but getting back to sleep is another thing.
And I've tried everything, from CBD to melatonin to calcium-magnesium to Nyquil, and many other "solutions". My problem with all of these is the next morning I'm groggy. It doesn't matter what I try, the next day I feel like I just woke up from a 3 hour afternoon nap.
Environment of course plays a big role in sleep quality. Best to have a totally blacked out room. Black out curtains, sleep in the basement, whatever it takes. But that's not always possible or realistic. Currently my bedroom let's in a lot of light from the outside (street lights, lights from the neighbors, full moon etc.). I use an eye mask, have off and on for years. However, what I've always done is not put it on until after I've woken up in the middle of the night. Again, no problem falling asleep, just getting back to sleep.
Interesting recent development for me, I've started using it right when I go to sleep, not waiting until I wake up. The last few nights have been the best sleep I've gotten in years! I've slept in a couple of different beds and rooms but have not woken up in the middle of the night yet. What I'm thinking is that laying the solid base at the start of sleep, instead of trying to rescue it after waking up in the middle of the night, allows the brain and body to go into deep sleep and stay there. Just a thought and I'll update as more time and nights go by.
Sounds also impact quality. I use foam ear plugs. They are good at blocking most of the noise. However, with the new eye mask system I've not even had to use even ear plugs.
Stay tuned for more sleep tips. Somethings may work for you, others may not. The trick is to keep looking and trying until you find what works for you. What I thought was good enough, was "well that's just the way it is", never felt right or complete. So I kept trying different things over time until I found what works best for me. You do the same.
Help the body do what it does best, and it will. Peace.
Feb 24 2024 Health, Wealth and Prosperity
While important at all stages of life, I've found that as I don't bounce like I used to, and really keying in on a healthier lifestyle is more important than ever.
No longer bullet proof and invincible, our bodies are not as forgiving. So what to do. The path of least resistance has historically been my M.O., but I find that just doesn't work anymore. Go figure, at this point I've decided to take the harder route, make the harder choices.
For many years I had the luxury of not having to push myself. Fortunate to have come from a strong gene pool, there was no inner drive or need to keep myself in shape, it just happened, or so I thought. A couple of years ago I was using a brush cutter and stirred up some ground wasps. Running across the elevated bed I was working in, I jumped the 3 feet down to the driveway. My foot caught one of the rail ties and instead of landing on my feet I landed on my knees and hands. Instincts from tai kwan do lessons from many years ago kicked in and I rolled, then stopped dead on my back, instead of rolling up onto my feet like I "meant to do that". I literally had to lay splayed out in the middle of the driveway for 5 minutes before I was able to get up and go into the house where it took me another 15 minutes to have some semblence of recovery. It was then I knew I had gotten to a point in my physicality that I needed to do something more than the minimums I was doing at that time.
Since then, the aches and discomfort of "getting on" are becoming more a routine than exception. Instead of slowing down and taking more Advil, I've decided to go in the opposite, less comfortable direction. I've found that pushing harder, physically, mentally and in business keeps me going in the better direction than taking foot off gas. While that's important from time to time, that's not the M.O.
So I encourage you to take a look at your level of comfort and conversely, your level of discomfort. It's the path of least resistance, we've all done it, some longer than others, some to their detriment to look for and take the easy way. I know from first-hand experience. It's much harder to push into discomfort, whether physically, emotionally (it's truly one of the hardest things to look yourself in the mirror and honestly take stock), spiritually (more on that later), and/or relationally. Most importantly, it's never too late to take stock, to change the routine into an adventure, mini or grand. But do what you can, and must, to challenge yourself to keep growing even as society expects the opposite of we wizened ones.
Feb 19 2024 Checking In
Well February is almost over. How's it going for you? For me I find that I continue to have more little things pulling at me that I am allowing to keep me from moving forward with the bigger things that I know will make a real difference in my life. It feels like I'm majoring in minor things. Not good! And not how I started the year. Not a backslide, but something I need to continue to pay attention to and keep from dominating my energy.
While we all have challenges we face daily and to varying degrees, the constant is how do we stay in front of and overcome? Whether it's health (most important!), relationships (yep), business or whatever you might be pushing up against, sometimes it just feels like it's better to stop than to keep pushing through. And that's o.k. I had to do that for a day or so last week. Part of my family was out of town which allowed me to work all weekend well into the evening hours. Monday rolled around and I was toast. I tried to rally but the steam just wasn't there. Not until that mid-afternoon did I start to get some energy (yeh I just watched Super Bowl recaps pretty much all morning), so I worked for a few hours, again, into the evening. By Tuesday I was feeling better but still not up to speed, so I mixed things up and went out and got excercise at lunch instead of the morning or afternoon. It was actually really nice doing it in the middle of the day, it broke the day up.
All that's to say is, if you feel like your butting your head against a wall and not being effective in what you are pursuing or working on, give yourself a break and take a day, a half day, a couple of days, whatever to get rested back up physically and mentally so you can get back to doing what you do best.
January 21 2024
Three weeks into the new year and just now getting situated to be able to write again here.
I've spent the past few weeks determining what this year will look like for me, what it will end up being, what I will accomplish. I've never been much of a new years resolution kind of guy, but to my detriment I've never been a planner either. I've gone into each year just trying to make it the best I can, without a target. I will tell you that's not the way to do it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Failure to plan is planning to fail". Maybe it's my historic fear of commitment.
December 24 2023
Christmas Eve and I'm finishing up some work before heading home. The year is winding down and heading into 2024 I'm looking forward to expanding and growing some things I picked up in 2023, and getting rid of and refining some things that I know I can be better about.
I spent this past year focusing on my health and my family. I'll continue to do that in '24, but I also will be growing some businesses I let coast more than I should have. The pieces are in place, I just need to give them the attention they deserve to take them to the next level.
What about you? What are your plans for 2024? I'm not talking resolutions, and not necessarily goals either. But what inspires you? What are your aspirations for the upcoming year?
I'm a big fan of reading and listening to people more succesful than I. I remember my mother saying when I was still in her orbit that she wished I'd had a mentor. Looking back, so do I. And looking back, I see now those people who came in and went out of my life who could have been amazing mentors, if I'd only know enough to ask. So now I use the tools at my disposal and try daily to get some bits of wisdom from people who have done great things.
So I'll finish with this: In the new year, be willing to not just listen, but hear. And don't be afraid to take action on things you learn. I've spent years listenting and learning, but the bit about taking action was never instilled in me. The saying "actions speak louder than words" is just so very true. Take action, even if it seems small, small and consistent actions over time can yield big results. We all know what we need to to, we just need to do it. Do be afraid to fail, and don't be afraid to succeed in 2024. Peace.
November 28 2023 Something New
So here I am having recently entered my 62nd year and I’ve been thinking for some time about what it means as a man in America to approach and then turn 60 years old.
This project has been on my to do list for several months and I have finally made the decision to put it out there. I've thought through a lot regarding my turning 60 and what it means for me, and had a lot of different ideas and thoughts have come up. And after all that thinking I finally got to a point where I said to myself “just start it“.
The purpose of this project is really quite simple: a place to put forth thoughts, ideas, experiences, and anything else that might be useful, in order to help the American male who has become of a certain age, navigate this new phase in life.
It will be a place for discussion, feedback, and advice. It is open to all, however, the main target is men sneaking up, or having passed the age of 60.
There is no rhyme, reason or scheduled to which I adhere for this project. so check back as you are so inclined and I hope to help those of you that might be wandering and to hear back from those of you with interesting ideas about what it means to be a man in his 60s.